Okay, so you’ve decided to go for it. Where do you begin? The lists in bridal magazines or at department stores are a little too, um, thorough (“gravy boat-everyday; gravy boat-formal”). Those crystal cruets will really come in handy for your typical home cooked meal (baked potatoes and salad in front of a warm TV). You’re you. Register the person you are now, and don’t try to register for the person you think you should be. Or the person someone else hopes you become.
Erika’s boyfriend’s mother talked dreamily about crystal,silver and “vision.” “Vision meaning, to register for the china you’ll stick like 30 years from now,” says Erika. This bride and her wealthy future mother-in-law were not on the same space-time continuum. “I would be absolutely freaking out listening to her. Whose life was she talking about?” Erika was a harried bride-to-be, working full time and going to school every night. “We had no money , no furniture, laundry all over our apartment, and what – I’m gonna have a silver platter in my closet?” Registering for gifts that will be great sometime in the far distant future , when your priorities changed, seemed ridiculous to Erika. “It got to the point where I was asking her, ‘Can I just register for tuition?’ She didn’t think that was funny.”
Clarice planned to do very limited registering. Her mother-in-law came back with this one:”… but people want to buy you silver place settings. That’s the only present my relatives ever give. You have to register for silver.” Was that a threat? Clarice feared it was: either silver or nothing. So she and Mitch did as they told. “We went and registered for a pattern we didn’t hate,the plainest thing we could find,” say Clarice. And really they were hoping hard for the stainless -steel flatware, which was expensive compared with the random utensils they had stolen from their respective college dining halls years earlier. “No one bought us either.”
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