Erika’s boyfriend’s mother talked dreamily about crystal,silver and “vision.” “Vision meaning, to register for the china you’ll stick like 30 years from now,” says Erika. This bride and her wealthy future mother-in-law  were not on the same space-time continuum. “I would be absolutely freaking out listening to her. Whose life was she talking about?” Erika was a harried bride-to-be, working full time and going to school every night. “We had no money , no furniture, laundry all over our apartment, and what – I’m gonna have a silver platter in my closet?” Registering for gifts that will be great sometime in the far distant future , when your priorities changed, seemed ridiculous to Erika. “It got to the point where I was asking her, ‘Can I just register for tuition?’ She didn’t think that was funny.”

Clarice planned to do very limited registering. Her mother-in-law came back with this one:”… but people want to buy you silver place settings. That’s the only present my relatives ever give. You have to register for silver.” Was that a threat? Clarice feared it was: either silver or nothing. So she and Mitch did as they told. “We went and registered for a pattern we didn’t hate,the plainest thing we could find,” say Clarice. And really they were hoping hard for the stainless -steel flatware, which was expensive compared with the random utensils they had stolen from their respective college dining halls years earlier. “No one bought us either.”

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